The Curse of the Mummy Tummy

There are many things that worry new mothers – health and safety of the baby, childcare and money worries, but there is one that shakes the majority of women to the core…the one that involves exposing parts of your body that spent nine months being plumped up to the point where the Pilsbury Dough Boy thought he was a bread stick in comparison!!

Yes fellow yummy mummies, the sun has got his hat on and he’s coming out to play. Unfortunately that implies that we have to indulge his sunny imposition and expose arms, legs and possibly mummy tummies that have been quite happily lounging under layers of jumpers, cardies and coats.

I have tried my best to shift the last of the baby weight but since Evie was 6 weeks old my weight has stubbornly bounced around and I can’t seem to lose the last 7 pounds. I shunned the car for the six months I was off on maternity leave opting to walk everywhere which involved numerous hills that could easily put me in pole position for the Welsh Three Peaks Challenge, I’ve been going to the gym at least once a week (albeit to catch up on gossip whilst casually strolling on the treadmill), tried the 5:2 diet (and failed…then cried), tried boot camp (I am not designed to bunny hop up a rain soaked hill) and I still have a belly that doubles up as a shelf to sit Evie on when I carry her! My other issue is my arms. Whereas once upon a time I could rock a vest top, after having a baby the only thing I rock is sleeves. I am seriously considering dragging the muumuu out of the wardrobe and parading around in that – at least I know it fits and will possibly have some sort of slimming effect on ‘the tyre’.

However, my biggest problem in the battle of the belly is my sister. The woman who had a baby the day before me and before I could present my first born to the world slipped back in to her size 6 skinny jeans!! I have a pair of skinny jeans that sneer at me from the top shelf and create what can only be described as an extra thick sausage effect with my thighs and a muffin top that Mary Berry would struggle to create. That is not to say that I own a pair of skinny jeans that when worn with a long length top make me look the size it says on the tag and not someone who has squeezed into something from Baby Gap!

If I follow the age old rule of 9 months on, 9 months off that gives me exactly 5 weeks to drop a dress size. Easy I hear you skinny minnies shout…the issue is if all has failed, how exactly do I accomplish this simple task?


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