31 going on 13

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me…this week was my birthday (if you didn’t guess) and I am slowly being dragged into my thirties (31 to be exact). This year followed a similar sober theme to my 30th; there were no planned celebrations, no wild night out on the town, not a drop of alcohol in sight actually…so I had to have something that allowed me to retain an element of fun now I am responsible for another human being. So I asked for roller skates!! Not just any roller skates but proper roller disco skates in red with red/yellow/orange stripes so I could be a yummy mummy with the breeze in my hair taking the baby for a spin in the buggy.

I had been quite specific in what I wanted, I even sent him the link to the exact skates and all he had to do was click buy now. I even sent him a link to the backup pair that I wanted. I had also requested some little bits to make up my birthday box so he didn’t have to go down the route of surprises (more often than not they don’t work and they end in tears – his not mine). Now ladies, I’m sure we can all agree that unless we actually buy our own gifts with his money we are leaving ourselves open to disappointment.

Tuesday morning, en route to the shower I spied my gifts – two of them. One looked like it could be my skates the other looked too big to be the book that I wanted, too light to be my pestle and mortar, this was a surprise gift off the baby. Racking my brains all day in work I couldn’t figure out what on earth he could have bought me.

After work I sat down to open my presents with Evie and he looked nervously on. I opened the big box first and to my delight it was my skates. Eger to see my red beauties I opened the box and quizzically looked at the white and pink ones staring back at me. How do you ask someone how they completely ignored your request without looking ungrateful? I bravely told myself I could rock Barbie skates, I’d just have to purchase new clothes to match the skates (and possibly dye my hair blonde to complete the look). Then it was time to open the other present. It was only then that it dawned on me that the lightness of the box could only mean one thing – he had bought me something to go with the skates. I had images of knee pads or elbow pads (in Barbie pink) but nothing could prepare me for the item that came out of the box…a matt baby pink helmet.

I don’t wear hats (apart from my trusty holiday hat) so I am baffled to understand why he thought I would wear something that makes me look like the rubber at the end of the pencil! He thought I would laugh and model it around the house. I couldn’t even crack a smile, let alone model it. Safety is paramount especially when drilling it into children but vanity always wins when there is the chance that you may be recognized.


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