If I packed my bag and ran away, I could quite easily join the Circus today.
Since becoming a parent I can categorically state that my number 1 skill has become juggling. My day starts with my daily briefing in the sanctuary that I call the shower – it is the only 15 minutes that I have to myself in the entire day. This session consists of planning the baby’s bag/outfit/food for the day, my lunch/outfit/diary/social engagements, the house jobs that need to be done, the things my parents have asked me to do, birthdays that may or may not be coming up but I have a voucher code for half price personalized cards that is expiring this week and a million things that could be happening in the next few days or I’d possibly dreamed of and my brain is trying to fit it into my diary. All this and trying to remember if I had put conditioner on my hair and if I had washed my face!!
From the daily briefing session I then have to put my plans into action. Obstacle 1, he hasn’t sterilized the bottles so I have to do this whilst putting lunches together – mine now consists of humous and rice cakes because it is the quickest thing to grab. On a side note, this new found lack of time and air for lunch has resulted in a 7lb weight loss so I can’t complain too much.
Next is attempting to put boiling water in bottles that make molten lava seem cool, keeping one eye on the time and making up the milk for breakfast. Then the favorite part of the day, putting my make up on whilst feeding the baby breakfast, breaking every two sips so we can play ‘beep beep’. All this is going on and he sleeps soundly next to me. This morning after throwing everything into the boot of the car and racing into crèche I looked at myself in the mirror in the work’s car park to find that I had not blended all my highlighter in and I had white streaks like a warrior embedded into my face because I had covered it with powder and bronzer. This is what happens when you spend all morning shouting “put it down”, “don’t take your nappy off”, “stop taking the mirror off mammy” whilst the demonic sound of snoring acts as a backing track, and to top it off all this is done in the dark because the light bothers them. I’m sure those lyrics would give me a number one in the Mammy and Daddy’s chart top 40. I could give the Bing Bong song a run for its money.
By the time I get to work I have already packed in a day’s worth of negotiating, pandering to the needs of people who can’t think for themselves and juggling numerous tasks. And then I get to do it all again for another 8 hours…all with my skirt on back to front!!