I have been struck down with the lurgy and it has turned my upbeat ‘New Year, New Me’ attitude into ‘New Cold, Poor Me’ thunder cloud. As well as the persistent coughing, loss of voice (which is not a bad thing to those who live or work with me), it has resulted in me having plenty of time to mull things over when I have finished reading every celebrity article online at 3 in the morning. After days of wanting to rip my throat out or holding my breath in meetings so I wouldn’t cough over everyone I took a day off to relax, and look after Evie, and for once I understood the importance of putting work a few rungs down the priority list.
Now, my definition of relax doesn’t involve lying on the sofa watching my TV programmes and eating chocolate biscuits – I think that is reserved for people who don’t have children under the age of 5, my definition of relax is to choose between hovering or cleaning the kitchen (I picked both but only put 50% into hovering), I decided that arts and crafts and cooking would be soothing so we went out to spend money on things I really don’t need but he had a lovely picture created by Evie and I made a giant lasagne to stop me having to cook for two days and I did manage to finish off a book. By 4pm I felt like I had achieved more than I do on the weekend; we had a pub lunch that hadn’t produced a single tear (from either me or Evie), the cleaning was done, pictures painted and I was curled up on the chair watching something that wasn’t Disney whilst Evie took a nap.
So sitting in work the next day really hit home that after years of convincing myself that this is what I want to do, it really isn’t! In my fantasy life I would be writing for various publications and earning as much as I do working in my office. I would be baking up a storm in the kitchen, going for walks and being creative with Evie and waiting for that all important phone call from the Food Network demanding that I front my own cooking show (and a book deal thrown in for good measure).
I’m not completely deluded, there will be days that being in the house all day will drive me mental but that is what school and crèche and the gym were invented for. I could escape and sit in coffee shops with my laptop perusing shopping sites whilst looking like an important writer, and more importantly, getting paid to do that. I’d still have interaction with the human race (I’d keep my part time job as a back up plan) and as a best-selling writer/cook I would be having meetings with my publisher so I would still be in the loop.
This cough (and subsequent day off) has sent my mind whirling into endless streams of thought and all I need is the get up and go to just…get up and get on with what I really want to do.
So if anyone is looking for a cook/celeb know-it-all/writer I will be patiently waiting by my phone (holding my breath so I don’t cough at the all important moment that you hand my fantasy to me on a plate!!)